wow.  ok, so i woke up this morning in this office, and this funny guy with glasses is lookin at me.  He says " how do you feel?" and i'm like, "where the fuck am i?" and he's like " in my office" and im like "who the fuck are you?" and hes like "i am doctor hernbin" and im like, what? i break my arm and hes like fuck no bitch!! your fuckin crazy!! and so i kuncked im a good one in the ol snoz and he bled all over his nice white couch and started screaming like a little white ass panzee woman so i kicked him in the ass and my shoe actually came off in his crack!! so i laughed at that for a while until some big men took me to the hospie.  I woke up the next mornin and this nurse walks by my bed and shes all like Hi Miguel and im like who the fuck is miguel and shes like your so funny!!! then she grabbed my pants and other things happened that i can't remember through all the drugs and whatnot.  So anyway, next thing i know i'm back in mr. snozface's office and he's like "maybe i shoulds explain things." Turns out i was some mexican or whatever, but not really, cuz i was reincarnated as him, but i still had my memories i do now, which means im a black gangsta from amsterdam in my past life, but now im stuck in some fuckwit gringo's body and i smell like shit and weed rolled together, and my wife killed all my fuckwit retarded mexican children with a shotgun and then herself and the fuzz found me with a spraycan in each nostril singing rubber ducky.  Anyway, imma gonna get all sorted out and find all my hookups in the ol U.S. and start my goddamn life again, seein if my brainis still any good.  My nostrils are still white and orange.  looks like some fool shot his seed up one and it came out the other as fire. oh well, shouldn't be long 'fore i got me a nice pimp house and a good stash. til next time y'all.

Quote of the day: If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is
around to hear it, is it still hilarious?

Hello peoples! Today i get paid!!! Amerka sooo great!!! I love much!! I buy foods for whole famly at MikDoonilds! Very yummy! My wife complain about curly hair in sandwiycth. I tell her shut up and eat. My kids throw up food afterwards but ate it agin and say it taste better.  No money now.  Familly go home we and play soccer.  I drop baby when trying to juggle him and kick goal and his elbow go backwards, so i make strait again.  Still crooked. Tonite wife say she love me much, but want more coke.  I tell her no bitch, not until we legal and can deal across border.  I give her dirt from toenials instead and she get sssoooo high.  We bangy bang long time.  I love wife very much!!! She never complane when i pee in her.  But she did say my peepee to small.  I tell her all other ladies say is very cute.  She say no, is ugly and small and wrinkly like rat.  I slap her with beer bottle and knock out tooth.  We both happy then!!! Now tooth fary give us money!!! i finish beer and we sleep like melted bananas.  I dream of my wonderful wife, i so happy i will shiow were to find out about her.  I think if you click here>>> http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mexibich_ho

However, i think my wife having brain problem.  She found my shotgun and hid it and said she will shoot me if i dont get the crack.  Maybe be nicr for a while.  I donno.  I so drunk.  sleepy and dizxy, go bed nowe.

adios y nada puerta,

Guerillimo

Jan 04t3y32, 20051 

Currently Playing Ranchero: Coleccion De Oro By Juan Torres see related

Hello people!!! My gode america so great! I kissed her soil today when i done burfing.  I jus wakey so if I spell sumtings wrong you know why!!! Last nite friends and me drink lots of the beer and drive very fast in the cars!!!  I beat 2 friends at the pool and then i beat three people i not know with the pool stick!! I not remember well, but i think the man saiy -dirty mexicans, don't you know not to get the drunk until friday?- I get engry becus i NOT MEXICAN!! is good country tho. I fell on broken glass too, did not hurt then but feel much so now!! Right on my left butthole!! After friends and me go shoot many dogs and pee on them.  I axidently pee on car, and friend shoot my toe.  I think i laff but memory not good.  good thing we close to white bilding with red jesus cross.  Nice lady put bandade on toe and then we get romantics! She gave me much of the "morfine" and did not get angry when i pee in mouth. I sorry lady if you read this!! I did not mean too!! Anyway, two more ladies find us and we all get vwery bizy. One lady remind me of pig i had in home country.  Very white and fat and have strange hair places. smell good tho. After this I drive crash to home and sleep. I just finish brekfist now and write this, and just found out there is pretty ladies in my computer and they take clothes off much time!! I think im late for work, but i have to remember were it is. THANK BLESS AMERIVA!!!  

Truncos largos,

Guerillimo

Jan 12, 2005

Hello peeples!  I am so exited be in America! My name Guerillimo Miguel Sanchez.  I my and famly came to Amerca from Nicaragua aggo two months!  I have butiful wive Rosarita Egasse Sanchez and five kid.  We boguht first house today!  In Woodburn they call it, is good house, windose and doornobbs!  I have friend Jose here Californea, said to get this AIM.  Me take trhee hours to find!  Hola Jose!! Mi amigo por vida!!! I have good job at barn, pay good cents.  I pick the and weeds and plants and drive tracter!!! When done, they pay me shiny circles and soft paper, will buy six meals from the Micdonolds!!! America so great.  At libary, said i can borrow things, so i borrow computer and now i am typing! Nicaragua ok, but not as good as here.  Much poppy and refaah grow in my country home.  Me pick used to plants, but no shiny circles or food.  I had to eat the plantes, but when i do i pee my loinclothe!  Then boss get mad, he say -Guerillimo!!! Estas stupido!! Bebe su urina ahora!!!! AHORA!!!!-     I glad no more boss.  In Nicaragua, there is rivers to swim in, but dirty.  Ones in Amrica very good! My familly got swim in big one, and on other side... AMERRICA!!!  There fence, but had hole.  Well, fun so much, I go bowling tonite with friends, then we shoot some dogs! guns in america much nicer, but so expensive!!

Adios con bebos!!!

-Jan 10, 2005